Change Happens - Ryan Smith of Lexington KY

Heraclitus, 6^th century philosopher and visionary, is quoted as saying, “The only constant in life is change.”  In fact, he had many comments about change in the world and in life itself. Change is inevitable.  Ryan Smith from Lexington KY posits that change comes whether we desire it or not because the circumstances may be out of our control. Sometimes change comes from decisions we have hurriedly made, or others have made, not realizing the potential outcomes. However, the best kind of change comes from within us.

Our physical selves change over time. Our thinking and reasoning need to change – or adapt – as well. Ryan Smith from Lexington KY says that what we once thought, as a child or an adult, may be in need of change. The change may come with mature thinking. It may be new information or a new perspective. These are changes that require open minds and curiosity. If you are ready to make changes, if you are dissatisfied with the life you have now, then here are some effective ways to make changes.

Seek the assistance you need to make those changes

Counseling is vital for change to be effective and long-lasting. You may or may not be aware of places in your past that are continuing to shape you now, in unhealthy ways. These are reasons why a mental health counselor is so important. Build a relationship with a counselor you are able to trust. Be honest about the challenges you face in thinking as well as living your life. A good counselor will be able to help you discern the reasons for those challenges as well as how to re-frame your thinking so that you are able to overcome and move forward. Seeking a mental health professional is a sign of healthy thinking, not failure. Taking “charge” of your thoughts and your life, recognizing when situations occur that may trigger unhealthy behaviors, is wisdom. Regrets about past events, experiences, or behaviors will sidetrack the change and growth you seek. Write them down as they come to the forefront of your memory. “What if” thinking is not helpful at these times. Simply acknowledge the regret and when you are ready, burn the paper!!  If those regrets return to you, take charge of your thinking. Tell those regrets that you’ve coddled them long enough and they are no longer welcome in your life. Close the metaphorical door and don’t peer out the “window” to see them leave. Fix yourself a good strong cup of tea or coffee, and set your sight on forward.

Depending on your circumstances, you may want to seek also the services of a “Life Coach”. This individual is not necessarily a mental health professional, but instead is one who listens to your concerns as you work to achieve the goal of effective change in your life and/or career. S/he is one off whom you may “bounce” ideas for changes or even frustrations in interactions or lack of response from others. Helping with goal setting, or adjustment of those goals, as well as healthy feedback and listening, are skills found with a good coach. Once again, seeking this kind of assistance is a mark of commitment to positive outcomes and not a sign of weakness. A non-judgmental ear is often what we truly need along the journey through change to a new life.

Decide what it is you really want from your life

This is a critical part of change for any individual. What are your passions, your “gifts”, your abilities? Be honest with yourself, yet don’t allow yourself to be hobbled by past failures. Failure is not an end; it is another step as we learn and grow. It’s a sad fact that we tend to focus more on others’ price. Success means that one has struggled, learned, continued onward, and brought all of that work to a good outcome. Recognize that success is never perfect or finished. There will always be changes that you will pursue in an effort to give the best outcome possible.  Success is most frequently the sense at the close of the day, that it was a good day.

Take time to celebrate where you are

Look around you every day and notice the beauty as well as the energy you see. A life well-lived is also a part of success, and a result of your decisions to change your life. It’s not healthy or wise to become so focused on “someday” or “tomorrow” that you miss the goodness of “today”. Take walks, speak to strangers. Smile at the sunset, welcome the sunrise. Limit your social media time for it can be a real impediment to the progress you desire. Move on from negativity. There is so much good in the world that never sees the media spotlight, we can begin to believe the worst about ourselves and about humanity. Ryan Smith from Lexington KY remarks that we are able to help someone else, and do that every day. Helping can happen in so many ways. Every action, from aiding a frustrated individual with loading their groceries, smiling at a clerk or waitstaff, sharing a silly joke, or even pausing to allow another vehicle to enter traffic in front of you is a way of helping to make the world or even someone’s life a little bit better. Are you in a position to give someone else a “hand up”? Do it. You may be the one who helps to set someone else on the road to changing their life. What goodness did you experience today? How will you incorporate that goodness into your future?

Consider establishing a practice of journaling each evening about what happened that day. Don’t discriminate, but instead write about the good and the struggles you experienced. Reflect in that journaling about your day and what you learned. Where did you see personal growth? Where did you find moments of satisfaction, amid the hurry of your day? Professional golfer WalterHagen is alleged to have said, “You’re only here for a short visit. Don’thurry. Don’t worry.” That comment led to the idiomatic phrase, “Stop and smell the roses”.  

What do you want your life to reflect? What do you want your life to mean? What do you want to accomplish while you are alive? How you decide the answers to those questions, how you pursue those results, are directly connected to the changes you are willing to make. Live the one life you have with intentionality and purpose, no matter how large or small that purpose may be. The change you seek is available to you. Will you choose to pursue it? Before willing change can happen, that’s the decision you need to make.